From House Wife To Film Maker

Guess what??!!  Finally after two plus years of wanting to have something to blog about I finally have a reason.  And what a reason it is.  I am breathless about sharing this with the world.  So it here goes. . . drum roll please: I am beginning my new career in becoming a film maker!!!  Yes that’s right.  Me, a woman, at mid-life, becoming a film maker.  Is that exciting or what?  

I imagine you’re wondering what my credentials are to begin such a bold venture?  Well, in resume format here’s how I look:

• Married at 18
• Worked for the first four years, after that was a stay at home wife and mom–who worked plenty trust me!
• Birthed 8, yes count them 8 children–and yes, yes, yes with the same man
• Home schooled for 16 years
• Divorced 4 years ago after a 23 plus year marriage Than began the 3.8 year struggle to find my myself, my direction and my purpose.  

After spending 23 years focusing on everyone else but myself I just wasn’t able to pop out of that role and into something else over night.  I had taken my role as wife and mommy possibly a bit too seriously because I had never taken the time as an adult to discover myself, my wants, my needs, my dreams, my purpose.  I always went along with what was best for my husband, his wants, and his career.  For instance I wanted to paint the walls forest green he wanted them white, so we painted them white. I love chocolate, raspberry, strawberry, orange and more, he just wanted vanilla so we picked vanilla. I like donuts with vanilla filling oozing out, topped in chocolate frosting he wants plain or possibly glazed, we get glazed. Vacation, friends, eating out, and movies weren’t important so we didn’t have them. I wanted to support him. Wanted to be loved and appreciated by him. I put him first all the time.  And once the first baby, that surprised us, came along two years later, I then wanted a white picket fence life. I had had a beyond words horrible childhood and I wanted to give this bright eyed, fresh new bundle of ours a wonderful, safe, secure, loving life. This served as the final ding and my life fully became about them, not me. 

So, as with so many women before me I packed up the possibilities for my life and the tugs of husband and children took over. A rhythm was established, a web grew thicker, and there was no turning back.  Till the divorce. Then it all ended.  Suddenly everything that I thought gave my life meaning and purpose dissolved.  I had loved being a wife and stay at home mother.  Still love being a mother.  But now I was faced with a very real reality.  I had to become something new. I had to reinvent myself. Go out into the world pretty much for the first time and find a new way to be. So began the often times painful, tear filled, and usually confusing process of finding me. My purpose. What excites me. What makes me want to spring from the bed in the morning.  I had to unearth what was under all the layers of wife and mom and had no idea where to begin.  I could write a book about the last four years and I’ll be the first to admit that the transition from housewife to film maker has included a good bit of  stumbling around none of which has included anything to do with film making. 

So I know what you’re thinking.  You don’t see a shred of film experience to my credit.  I know!!  Isn’t it great?!  I know zip, zero, zilch, about the film making business.  It’s like being given a second chance at life.  My life suddenly all feels like something totally new and I’m excited and inspired.  As much as I was when I found out I was pregnant for the first time.  Didn’t know a thing then about pregnancy or mothering but I certainly did that, loved it, did and still do it with great success and love.  If I can birth, love, and raise all those beautiful children.  I can birth this.   

To some it may sound a bit ambitious but I have been inspired by John to join him in this adventure and I just can’t stop myself.  My ex thinks I’m crazy and I don’t know maybe I am just going through mid-life crisis.  But this feeds my soul.  So no more living life conventionally and marching to the drum of the status quo. We only live once so I’m locking arms with John and with the same commitment, passion, and drive I had as wife and mommy I’m going for it.  I’m becoming a film maker and will create our very own book trailer and documentary for the book that was channeled through him: Red Book and Cotton.  

So this blog is my journal gone public.  This is just too big and going to be too much fun to keep all shut up in a book for no one to read.  If you want you can be one of my friends and come along with me. I want you to.  I want to share this with friends that surround and support me.  That join me as I make this journey through the ups and downs, challenges and triumphs, the endless learning. . . and more.  What could be better than having your friends with you when great things are happening?  

So please join me as I boldly go where I’ve never gone before into the new and exciting world of:  me living and being me, living large and loving life.  Me becoming a film maker!!!!!

Theresa

Trackback URI | Comments RSS