From House Wife To Film Maker

The following is going to be my first in a segment of entries.  A continuation series.  Too long for one post.

Done a lot of thinking about this.  Drummed my fingers on my desk more than once contemplating it.  Began and scrapped a bunch of prior attempts.  What am I talking about?  The part of my life I only hint at.  You know, you’ve seen the bits trickle into my blog.  Where I mention appointments with my life coach, inner healing work, waking up, becoming conscious, and all those books psychology/spiritual books that are crammed among the chick lit and horror on my Shelfari shelf…–lots of words there I know.  After all this time I myself don’t know exactly how to label this whole thing.

I’ve gone back and forth on this note.  Should I share?  Yes, I should.  Then.  No.  No I shouldn’t.  Well today I decided.  Yes.  I’ll share.  Why?  Well, this journal is about me.  About my journey into the new me–well, really the me that’s always been there, it’s just that she/me/I was on the other side of the looking glass–My trip down the rabbit hole.  My going to ask Alice.  The trek to find me in the newest of terms.  Yes to become… a business woman.  But there is so much more then I put in my “about me.”  That was the tip, hinting at more.

And today begins the “more”.   Especially since I went and did it again, had another stop business day, as I had mentioned I might do yesterday, therefore it must bleed over into my blog making it business free.  The direction was spurred on by the fact that I began my day with an intense session with my life coach.  Making it the logical place to begin this post as well as begin to take you deeper into my rabbit hole.

It isn’t by mistake that my side bar, on my Blogger Blog and under About me on my WordPress blog reads as it does.  And, as a side note, why I didn’t come up with a name for my blog that played off from Alice in Wonderland I’ll never know.  Since I have a looooonnnggg history with good old Alice and white rabbits…

In my life I’ve taken many trips.  I’ve seen a lot of our country on them and then I’ve seen a lot of, well, not our country on others.  During those my eyes were bloodshot, squinting through smoke, and you might hear me say, as I exhaled, through small gasps, “Damn.  This is some good shit.”

Once upon a time I took these trips because, being a kid, I was trapped.  Couldn’t get out of the horrid home that I lived in, so I found other ways to trip on out.  Into other unseen lands where I followed many a psychedelic white rabbit…

Back then Rock and Roll was it for me.  Loved the stuff.  Loved the whole movement it represented.  Had I piled my records from the floor up they would have reached the top of my head and Jefferson Airplane was up there at the top.  Burned holes through their vinyl.  In my mind Grace Slick was one of the greatest female singers of her time.  And her song “White Rabbit” was my favorite.  I never knew why.  I just connected with it.  When that song came on I could be in a room full of people surging with booze and drugs and I would stop dead, as if to pay homage.  To listen and sing along till it was done.

I never could explain it before.  Defiantly not back in the day.  Then it was, “I love that fucking song.”  Now, as I rethink it, I think in some strange way I was forward seeing into my future.  Preparing myself.  Preparing to be ready to tumble down the deepest rabbit hole of my life.  To be ready and willing to go…

More tomorrow, Love ya,
Theresa Jane
-don’t worry we’re going somewhere.  It’s just that in order to get there we have to sit and drink some tea with the Mad Hatter and listen to his ramblings…

Tags: alice in wonderland, conscious, Consciousness, Grace Slick, Inner Healing, jefferson airplane, rock and roll, waking up, white rabbit

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