From House Wife To Film Maker

My neighbors decorations. It's sweet. Had to share.

This path I’m on…discovering me.  Going from a housewife to a film maker has taken the most interesting twists and turns since it began.  It really proceeded my first blog post… I would say by 5-6 years.  A year or two before my divorce.  That’s when I began to have an uncontrollable drive to discover me.  To break out of the only role I had ever performed: Housewife.

I want to pause right here and state that I in no way want anyone to consider that I’m demoralizing the role of housewife.  The reason for the use of the word is that that was what I had done for 23 years.  Had I been a sales clerk, I would have named my blog From Sales Clerk to Housewife.  The title exists in order to express a passing away of the old and the birthing of the new.  The title also demonstrates how dramatic the transition has been.

But I will hasten to add that there is an unspoken component to this word, “housewife”.   And that is that it was all I knew.  It’s what I had been surrounded with growing up.  I knew only a handful of woman that worked before I reached my teens and then in my teens none of the woman held anything very, shall we say snappy.  Hairdressers, Realtors, clerks, check out people, a nurse or two, and definitely teachers.  So my examples/role models were scanty.  My mom was a housewife, my grandmothers, my aunts, friends of my mothers, women that lived around me…  Therefore both unspoken and spoken the training was: become a housewife.  Although I yearned for greater I found myself duplicating that image.  And in retrospect I can honestly state that I never sat down and made that decision.  To become a housewife.  I truly have come to see that I made it based on a brain pattern.  And once I came to grips with that I was left wondering, who and what I was?  What makes me tick?

While I was still married I toyed around with this. (too much to tell now)   But nothing like the day I signed those divorce papers.  Whoose.  I was thrust onto the canvas of life with the question, “So what ya gonna do now woman?”  Damned if I knew.  It was completely foreign.  I may as well have gone to the Russian Tundra without the aid of a translator or guide.

But in spite of that when I was alone with my thoughts I declared that there was no way I was going to spend the rest of my life pitteling around with little, ordinary jobs.  Good God NO.  I’m not cracked up for that.  I’ve got too much creativity and drive to not do my own thing and be trapped by a 9 to 5.  And in spite of my worthlessness that I dealt with, (but hadn’t identified it at the time) I was too strong willed and driven to ever want to bend my knee to someone drawing up a schedule for my week and dictated to me what I had to do with my hours for the rest of my working career.  Are you kidding?  Spit that right out of my mouth.

Course I needed money so I did try the “job” thing.   Hated it.  That’s when I went into my own business caring for other people’s children.  I love kids.  I think their great… So I love what I do and it pays the bills.  I can call my own hours, chose the families, and set my salary.  Perfect.  For the moment…

So anyway… I knew I was untrained in anything business, but I really didn’t care.  I knew I could learn anything I set my mind to.  Proved that to myself time and again.  So I’d make it one way or the other.  I dug into the concept and belief that I would one day have my own business.  Then I got busy and have forged that direction every since.  I’ve taken a lot of turns getting here but every bit of it was training and preparing me for the company John1 and I formed: Free the Mind Productions, Inc for the purpose of creating videos.

This is a good place to stop.  When I sat down here tonight I had no idea what to write.  I kept putting it off and messing around with others little things.  Finally I came here and started typing and am surprised where I’m going.  I have more.  But holding that for tomorrow.  I know where I’m going.  The hint is: it ties with the last few posts.

Night, love ya,
Theresa Jane
-whose doing it again…another mini series, sheesh what is it with me?  LOL.

Tags: Becoming me, becoming myself, Becoming Woman

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