From House Wife To Film Maker

Con’t from: “Where I’ve come from”…
I want to mention I have worked for others, however I have always chaffed against it.  I’m just not the type who wishes to be employed.  For some it works.  And works great.  For those like me it doesn’t.  We look for ways to be in charge of our income.  This is what I’ve always done.  I’ve done all I could to bring in as much as possible of my own self-generated income since I  started working at age 12.  All through high school I: had paper routes, mowed lawns,  shoveled snow, been in direct sales for several companies, babysat, and, cleaned house.  The last three I carried into my adult years.  The last two were through my own self-generated businesses.

I’ve spent my life being in service to others.  For one I put my ex through college and assisted him to rise to the six digit income he has, while sadly at the time of our divorce I was capable of below poverty level income and that’s where I’ve remained.  I want to make something of myself like Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray, Bill Gates, my “ex”… They wouldn’t settle and they got what they wanted.  I’m not going to either.  Personally I think I deserve a life better than poverty level.

In the years before my divorce I had decided that I was FINALLY going use my talents and start my own business.  At first I pursued various areas where I possessed skills.  I started into things however, there were three problems:

• I struggled with worthlessness and had a terrible time being able to really pull them off
• Had very limited business experience to build a company
• I also wanted to do something that would make a difference on this earth before I died.  This stood juxtaposed to the other ideas.  “Make a difference” was a searing burning in my soul.  But what to do with the burn was beyond me.  And considering creating a business around it never occurred to me.  Don’t ask me what I actually thought because I really didn’t.  Back then it was just a dream with no where to go.

It wasn’t till about 3 1/2 years ago that “what” to do to “make a difference” came together.  It occurred when I finally agreed with my life coach, after two years of him insisting, that I had a powerful, compelling story of  strength and healing that could assist others.  I needed to write my autobiography.  Even when I agreed I was wobbly about it, due to low self-esteem and worthless thinking…  He saw I was wobbly and pressed that I take it seriously–how he ever knew I wasn’t totally sold I’ll never know – that my story offered an example of healing and a way out of the tormented psychological mess others may be living in due to their past, like I had and was coming out of.

I finally surpassed wobbly and got serious I:

• Took a college course on writing.
• Read book after book on writing.
• Dissected books of fiction and non-fiction, carving them up with highlighters and pen notes highlighting the various aspects that I wanted/needed to focus on learning at the time.
• Started listening to books on tape so I could be exposed to reading all the more.  Stephen King says: he has no patience for those that say they want to write and don’t take the time to read.  Reading is crucial to good writing

There’s more to “what I did” however this is long enough.  More tomorrow…

Night, love ya,
Theresa Jane

Tags: assist others, Inner Healing, make a difference, rising above poverty, Stephen King, writing

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