TwitterDec 28 2009
Part 2, "The more" of the results of the !BLAM!mig . . .
Continuing from yesterday…with “the more”…
My step-father had surgery scheduled to have cancer removed from his lung. It was supposed to be sometime in the next few weeks. However the hospital had an opening and my step-father elected to go in earlier.
I did not receive a call.
Not a one.
My brother called me. He had asked my parents if they had called to let me know and my step-father said, “Oh yes.” My mother in her grating irritated voice told him, “I’ve handled it.”
To be sure my brother called…
I called the hospital the day after the surgery…
My mother answered the phone, “Hi mom, is dad there or in a test?”
“Hello Theresa,” rumbled out of her throat and through her clinched teeth. Then…”I can’t get the phone to him.”
Now what I thought was, I have logged more hospital hours than you could ever dream possible with my two sons that have Spina Bifida, never saw a room yet that the phone didn’t reach the bed. So give him the phone! Instead I said puzzled and mildly questioning as if to infer she was lying, “You can’t reach the phone to him?”
No answer, instead I heard rattling sounds and the distant voice of my step-father, “Can you hear me?”
“Barely but it’s enough,” I said.
Then he repeated the question and it was a bit closer.
“A little better, it’s okay don’t worry…”
Then… crystal clear, the phone was up to his mouth and through tremendous strain and pain he said, “Hi Theresa. I’m really glad you called. I’m in a lot of terrible pain. But I’m going to get through it. I’m going to give the phone to your mother.”
As fast as I could I said, “Dad I want you to know I love you and I’m pray…
“
Then, rattle, rattle, clunk. The phone was returned to it’s cradle as if dropped from three feet up.
More punishment.
Why do I tell you this experience and the one I told yesterday? Because it has always been my policy to be open and honest with you. The same applies with this. I want you to get a “fly on the wall” unveiled honest perspective of what’s been happening. Also, what I’m going through since the !BLAM! of my parents and to let you know my “maskless,” raw gutted responses…
There have been two (well three really, blogged about that before: click here and here for those posts):
1) My initial response to the card (yesterday’s post) and the call was anger and hurt.
2) It took me about an hour or two to climb on top of those emotions both times. To pull back and remember, what I knew going in, that my parents are doing the best they can and they always have. But I’m not going to sit here and lie to you and say I waved my hand and said, “Phish, hey it’s okay, not a problem I knew to expect this. This has been their history and really, my parents are just doing the best they can. I know that my step-father had a horrible, frightening childhood since he told some about it and my mother, although she claims to having a Disney childhood, has all the earmarks that that is anything but the truth. People don’t get the way she is for no reason, we are all products of our environment… Soooo, they’re doing the best they can.”
Honestly I wish I could say that that was my immediate reaction. I wish that all my healing had rendered me to that level. But it hadn’t. My humanity and the child that is still in me took over. More about that tomorrow…
Night, love ya,
Theresa Jane
