TwitterJan 06 2010
You may be wondering . . .
After I posted my last post I had to come back to my faithful key board because I can almost hear you wondering…
When I went home to seek resolution with my parents a few years ago, my step-father was remorseful and changed…
So WHY did I !BLAM! him as well?
Well, as I said in my video I side stepped a lot back then, swept it under the carpet if you will. I didn’t want to shove the past in their face, make them wrong… All I really asked was that they admit that I had a reason to have cut them off for all those years because: the past was horrible. A nightmare… And I asked that because my mother has always continued to be upset, and held it over my head that they were cut off for all those years and claimed cluelessness about the reason–God, sometimes my mother makes me roll and squeeze my eyes shut and my stomach to cease in knots . . .
Since then I have come to see that by not bringing everything out, my childhood pain and fears, the adult fears and pains and lingering effects… I stopped short. Far short. Which kept me carrying the burden. A participant in hiding the past. Protecting the awful that it was. And although my step-father was remorseful and has changed, I really was left needing to express to them the searing pain and lingering effects I have suffered from their hands.
Get it out of me…
Bring to light what was in the dark…
Give the burden back to them…
Facing the awful makes it real. Validates it. And allows the person/people to become free.
Therefore when I called to !BLAM! it really needed to be to them both.
Night again, love ya,
Theresa Jane
-who just senses unasked questions 
and wonders who is holding a question that they want to ask? I say, ask away, I’m an open book and love questions
Theresa, I’ve been reading your blog off and on since I noticed you sitting across the aisle on Jennie’s “bus”. Trauma survivors have a radar about others with similar pasts.
Your plans, concepts and actions toward self-healing resonate with me. I’ve been on that road for about 30 years.
You’re already doing well, in the sense of being functional.
I believe you will continue to grow quickly. (I’m speaking as a slow learner, myself.)
Thanks for the look inside your process.
Thanks for letting me know you’re out there
and that you too are on the same road. I hope that what I share continues to assist you. And I commit to keep allowing you to “see inside”.
Theresa Jane