Unfortunately, people tend to change a great deal in their younger years, and then less so as they age. We were too young, and as we changed we didn’t fit together any more. Our goals and interests grew apart. It was terribly tragic and unforeseen by both of us. We tried several counselors in earnest. Nothing worked. The bond drained through our fingers like sand. No one could have predicted it EXCEPT on the basis of our being too young, therefore still in flux.

When I remarried at 39, I had only known my wife for a few months before we moved in together. We married about 18 months into the relationship. She’s a few years older. We’ve had 16 smooth years together so far. We haven’t changed substantially at all, though we are better at working together because of practice. We were able to rely on remaining who we were when we met.

The only advice I could possibly give any young person is to wait, period, until your personality and values are set, and that it is rarely true before 25. What you care about today, you might not value tomorrow.