From House Wife To Film Maker

Okay, its 8:33, and I’ve had an incredibly easy day for me.  Picked up Zac at 11:30, made him a nice “menu appropriate” meal which he loved, had a quick meet up with a women I’m getting to know and have been trying to get together with again for the last three weeks, then on to get the oil changed… I was a little over due like 2 1/2 oil changes over, then the mechanic and told me that my air filter and some other system needs a scheduled clean… which explained why my truck stalled the other day… but I didn’t have any time for that so I have to go back, think I’ll do that Wednesday, from there to a board meeting where I heard that the meeting with the lawyer to discuss particulars regarding some of the things we will be doing through our church went super terrific, then before returning home walked and smiled warmly listening to my sons Cal and Dan who walked with me for 50 minutes in their neighborhood.  Now I’m home, blogging,  Facebook Iming with my friend Cathy, doing laundry, texting just a little, listening to music on You Tube at the moment: Kansas’ Dust in the Wind which I haven’t heard in years but it popped up on the side bar when I went to You Tube to see a video that was on a web site that my friend shared with me which started me listening to other selections, and I’m starving! But if I eat now I’ll be up all night, and I’m feeling so blank on what to write.

In case you’re wondering… the web site for our church is coming along nicely and I can’t wait to unveil it!  We are hoping to have it’s “beginnings” up by this weekend.  I say beginnings because a site of this sort is bound to grow and grow.

…You Tube update…Gateway to Heaven…

A couple weeks ago I decided I NEEDED to read.  Not anything deep, just a simple novel.  Something light, easy breezy, but with some substance, something just for pleasure, not to learn a single stinking, mind expanding, thought provoking thing whatsoever.  Well I found it.  “Bread Alone”.  And it fit me perfectly.  Did I mention that for like 12 years I made my own whole wheat bread for my family?  And not with a bread machine either.  I kneaded it with my two hands for years, then discovered the Kitchen Aid and from then on it was a love affair with a gray metal machine that whirled a paddle bar like no other and I nearly died living without after my divorce–I left it for my girls–till my kids got me one last Mother’s Day…  Anyways, the book’s main character, a woman has her husband announce that he wants a divorce and she’s getting in touch with her lost love of baking bread.  It talks some about the finer things of bread making and so forth and it made me feel so reminiscent.  Of my days when flour, water, yeast, salt and me created a bond and I learned, finally, with the aid of “Laurel’s Kitchen Bread Book” how to make the perfect, golden, high raised, hollow when you tap the bottom loaf.  I enjoyed the book so much I  bought it’s squeal and now I’m blazing through it.  I read while I earn money doing child care…when I can, I’m reading before sleep takes over, and I carry it with me to appointments and anywhere I suspect there might be down time…like at the garage today.  I just needed those books.  Sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Update…laundry done… waiting to hear the gentle click that signals I can now lift the lid.  It can feel like a year before that click happens.

Okay, repeat of Stairway to Heaven…again…now dancing in my chair… because I’m alone and there’s no one around….

There’s the click! Annnnd laundry in now in dryer, at least what can endure the heat without shrinking.

Back in my chair and onto Pink Floyd…Wish You Were Here…because I wish Cathy were here and not in NY…almost too slow and a bit sadder then I was prepared to deal with, may have to click past this one.  Giving it a minute while I re-read what I’ve written so far.

Well, listened to the whole song allowed my self a moment of sweet saddness.  Now…Johnny Cash, “Hurt”.  A song that makes me cry and sob.  But astonishes me.  He didn’t write this song but he made it amazing and the video he made to accompany it received six nominations at the 2003 Video Music Awards, including one for Video of the Year.  Pretty good for a 71 year old country singing man.  I defy anyone to watch that video and not at least have to brush away one tear.

That man could write songs and sing.  Do you know about his career/life of 50 years??????????  And I don’t mean that you watched the movie, “Walk The Line”.  I didn’t like that movie, there was so much more to him than that movie ever portrayed.  Do you know that he thought it was his life calling to write and sing his songs?  He was totally dedicated till the day he died.  He was amazing.  Totally.  And as Cathy, just Imed me on Facebook “He was an amazing musician. Very definitely his own person.”  Maybe that’s what attracts me to him…never considered this before.

Want a touch of his history??  Watch this…

I grew up on Johnny and other country singers.  Of course once I reached my teens I never reveled to my parents that I liked the Country they listened to.  No no.  Because I also liked Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Elton John, The Bee Gee’s, and more.  Everyone was into Rock and Roll not Country.  Well, at least the kids around me and my cousins.  So I had to reject what my parents liked…right?  Well, this is something I regret.  Wish I had had the guts to have openly liked them.  Come out of my closet so to speak. LOL  This is something I raise my kids not to do.  To not hide their likes and dislikes.  To be who they are.  Well, for the most part it has certainly worked.  So much I have to tell some that their teachers may not be ones to do that with…I have great kids.  I raised them to be able to do things I couldn’t, such as be themselves, have confidence, they can do anything… and they got it all right.  Somehow.  Now their mom works on getting what she taught.  LOL  But I’m getting there.

…You Tube…update… Hurt has been playing over and over as I construct this section Johnny Cash and me…

At any rate I cried so hard when I heard Johnny Cash had died.  It was like a part of my childhood had died.  Can’t explain it.  I’ve not felt like that before with someone outside of me.  I still remember when I heard it.  I only remember where I was for one other famous occurrence and that was when the space shuttle exploded, which was also the day my first born son took his first steps and walked back and forth to his father and me with the news in the background reporting on the explosion.  For Cash’s death announcement I was listening to NPR they were doing a segment on him as a tribute to his life, I was on my way to sign papers to refinance the mortgage on the house I lived in when I was married.  My eyes were so swollen and puffy the bank guy was like, “Are you okay?”

You know, life is funny.  We spend so much time repelling things, things that we say we don’t want, but we do, that time slips past, we lose ourselves and we don’t discover who we are till we hit mid-life or later.  What a waste.  And with that Anna Nalick’s “Shine” the song that’s been on the You Tube repeat for many times so far…

Night love ya,
Theresa Jane
-and that’s how this post was written!!!!!!!   The blankness went away, but it took time.  Like a few hours of writing and Iming and laundry and researching and…
-oh and the music choices…I really don’t go around listening to most of those choices or any music for that matter…it’s just that I have times when I do have a listen.  Were I to really listen to music as a steady thing it would be more along the lines of more current, more mellow

Tags: Bread Alone, Johnny Cash, Texting, You Tube

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