From House Wife To Film Maker

Okay, I was going to go on and tell you about some things that have lead up to my resolution however I’m going to skip to today and what happened.  I went along all day very happy, up beat, and in general on a steady path to being peaceful and loving.  I worked for two different families and their children since 6:30 am till 4:30 pm and I coasted along without a single bleep and believe me there could have been reasons for a bleep today somewhere between the 2 year old twins and the 10 and 4 year old as we drove to school.

At 5 I was driving with my daughters, Daughter 2 (younger) and Daughter 1 (Older).  The conversation went something like this with the names changed to protect the innocent and me from hearing how I talked about them on my blog in a “negative” way )

Daughter 1: “I’ll pick you up from school on Monday so we can go to the Chiropractor so don’t get on the bus wait for me in the lobby.” (their schools get out 15 minutes apart)
Daughter 2: “I can’t, we aren’t allowed to be in the lobby after school.”
Daughter 1: “You’re not?  Why”
Daughter 2: “I don’t know we just aren’t”
Daughter 1: “Okay then wait in the bathroom.  When I get there I’ll text you so you know I’m there.”
Daughter 2: “I can’t do that.”
Daughter 1: “Why not?”
Daughter2: “I don’t think we’re allowed to do that.”
Daughter 1: “Who is going to know?  There’s lots of after school activities there will be kids everywhere.”
Daughter2: “I don’t think I should do that.”
Me: “Tell them you missed the bus and you have to wait for your sister in the lobby.”
Daughter 2: “They’ll get upset with me for missing the bus.”
Me: “It happens, what are they going to do tell you not to wait in the lobby or the office or anything. I mean where are you going to wait if you happen to miss the bus on the ceiling or dissipate into thin air?  They’ve got to let you wait.
Daughter 1 and Daughter 2: Laughter….
Me: “Okay then just walk to your sister’s car then. (their schools are right next to each other)
Daughter 2: “Can’t.  It’s not allowed.”
Me: “What is allowed in schools anymore??  I mean my word this is ridiculous.  How do you even know that, its not in the handbook?”
Daughter 2: “The principal was out front the other day and one of the kids tried to walk over to her brother’s car and he stopped her.”
“Me: “Then wait till he’s gone before you leave the building and leave on the opposite end, go out the car pool side.  No one is going to see you.”  (Of course this answer made me think to myself, “Oh God what kind of a mother am I I’m teaching my kid to break rules…”)
Daughter 1: “Yeah sister that’ll work.”
Daughter 2: “If someone sees me I’ll get into trouble.”
Me: “Then go see a teacher for extra help, you must need help with something.”
Daughter 2: “I’m really doing ok with everything right now so that wouldn’t work.”

Daughter 2 and I came up with a few more scenarios and all were met with some type of no and then I got annoyed.  Nerve scarping annoyed.  This is my child who doesn’t look for solutions to anything almost ever so its already something that gets to me.  But before I could say anything Daughter 1 did.

Daughter 1: “Sister! You’ve got to have some solution that you can do.  Look for solutions Sister.  Look for solutions,”  she said with a laugh and I chimed in and repeated the need to seek some kind of a solution, however my chime had a bit of an edge to it, a little forcefulness with the underlying insistence that said without saying, “For heaven sake stop making this so difficult, pick one of the ideas we gave you we gave you up-teem.”

Then, at the same time I realized I was getting less then peaceful, Daughter 2 said, “Mom you don’t have to get upset about it.”

BAM nailed lack of peace and love.  I’m just glad I haven’t made the grand pronouncement to my kids what my resolution for this year is otherwise her response would have been laced with a lot of comments about my resolution and how I’m not working very hard at it at the moment. . .  because if any of my kids are good at zinging someone with directness it’s Daughter 2 for sure.  So I got through that one with just me to contemplate my loss of peace and thenI reeled myself back in, did some deep breathing to bring myself to center and asked her, nicely, to just think about which option she wanted to go with and then let me know.

So I press onward and upward as I march forward with this resolution, ever determined that I’m going to make it!
Love ya,
Theresa

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