From House Wife To Film Maker

I have nuzzled each of them to my neck and breast.  Stroked their downey heads as the warmth of my milk filled their tiny mouths. I never tired of seeing there eyes slowly close, their head ease back, and their mouths slip from my nipple as they fell into sleep.  I have delighted at their giggles and watched with a new thrill as each one, on their own, have mastered everything from walking, to running, to riding a bike, climbing a tree, and for some, driving a car.  I love to hear them say, “Watch this mom” and as they each grow into adults I am discovering they still say those words, they’ve just morphed into a different form.  As each child has moved through their stages of growth and development I have found each has been like a new experience, a new thrill to watch.

I have cleaned their tiny hinnies, kissed their boo boo’s all better, rocked them when they were sick, walked the floors till they were able to sleep, waved, often with tears in my eyes, as they have gone off into new and sometimes scary experiences like the first day of school, their first sleep over, and their first performances in a play.  I have cradled their heads and listened to each of their joys and hurts and I never bore of what they have to say.  I love them all.  They are growing and changing and I respect and honor them as they move through the various stages of independence and on into adult life, but I can’t help it, I am proud of them all so they will each forever be my babies.

So I will be including them because they too are on this journey with me.  They are there often when I am sitting at this computer, or scouring the books shelves at not just Barnes and Nobels but then we may just go to Books a Million next.  They are there when I fall asleep watching a movie with them because I didn’t get enough sleep and just sitting there, all still in the dark lulls me like a siren into sleep, and they are there when I am so absorbed in what I am thinking about that there could be three of them surrounding me and I hear something, yes their voices but the words aren’t making it through till I hear, probably for the 10th time, “Mom are you listening?!”  I’m even better at hearing the sigh and quiet mutter, “She’s not hearing me at all.”  I think it is then that I connect with their little heart sinking in disappointment and it jars me to the present.  So, I ask, how could I ever leave them out??