Both were equally important.  Without my changing we wouldn’t have moved forward very far, if at all.

I share this because I know that I’m not the only one with a relationship with a child/ren that is in mild to major need of help/repair.  I share because if you are there you need guidance and hope.  I also share for those that have been reading my blog in order to share the joy of the healing.

Before I go on I want to drop a quote in here from a blog I read, it’s so applicable to today.  Here’s the link to the post where I pulled this quote from Invisible Micky’s blog click here for the link: http://bit.ly/amYilX

“So what’s with all the encouragement we get to act SOLID?  (“Be my rock.”)  I think it’s a metaphor that holds people back.  We are animated water balloons, with some meat and chemicals.  EMULATE WATER!  Don’t be solid (which you aren’t), be liquid.  ADAPT to the shape of the containers you are placed in.  GO WITH the FLOW.  Try not to freeze too easily.  ABSORB the HEAT.  Be elastic.  BE what you are – MOSTLY WATER. Has trying to be too “solid” held you back?”

Isn’t that great?  Really makes you think doesn’t it?  It’s brilliant and goes beautifully with what I’ve been thinking lately.

As I said, in healing my relationships with my kids, change has been one of the vital ingredients needed to bring about restoration.  My kids either spelled out what needed to change about me or I disciphered it.

Change is really the name of this earthly game.  If you can’t change you could get depressed, overwhelmed, or unable to move forward.  Life won’t be all it can be.  You won’t be all you can be.  Life is always evolving forward and who better to demonstrate this to us then children? They’re constantly reaching for their next age, their next level of privilege, their next grade in school…  There’s no standing still with them.

As a parent I’ve had to learn to flex and change in so many areas there’s no way to count them all.  And then as my kids reached adulthood I’ve had to change again in new ways and I’ve come to see how I should have changed more as they were growing.  Since I hadn’t, now I’ve come to see how I must change and have changed now to have a healthy and happy repaired relationship with them.  And honestly I know there is more change that lies ahead as they advance further into their adult lives.  The change is not over.  Not by a long shot.  So if I hope not to get back into this again with them I’m going to have to change all the more.  And I’m ready… CHANGE is GOoD.

So, in this post I just want to say.  Look around.  Feel and see where you’re “like a rock”?  And please, oh please, if you have kids ask them to be honest with you.  Ask them to tell you how you’re: too “solid” and it’s causing hurt to your relationship.  And then CHANGE.  It just may be the best thing you ever did.

Night, Love ya,
Theresa Jane